Memorial Day, Father's Day & Baby Ava

This is not in order. I was too lazy.

 Brett's parents came up here for Memorial Day and Travis Birthday. They brought Trav's daughters up with them. We sure miss all of them and just love having them up here. Cade and Monica also came up and spent some time with us.

 Photo session outside the Marriott in Park City. We have done this for several years and the morning of this photo I spent hours looking back at photos from the past years. Time goes by so fast!

 Riding the bus to main street in Park City for dinner and caramel apples. Just one of our favorite traditions.

 At Bandits for dinner. Audrey and Josh joined us.

 Memorial Day we went to Trav's grave. We had Trav's kids there for the first time since the funeral. The kids handled it well... the adults was a different story. It still feel so unreal to me. I sit and look at his headstone in disbelief that he is there.

 Father's Day, Audrey and I love to get the boys the exact same thing. I don't know why but we just think it's hilarious!

Lulu had her baby. Ava was born on May 28th... Trav's birthday. It was bitter sweet. A new life and a reminder that one has ended. Baby Ava is so stinking cute... I may just keep her for myself.

RedRock Moab

RedRock Relay in Moab 2014!

 Once again I have talked Audrey into another race. She loves me so much that she just goes along with it. We were better trained for this race and it made a huge difference. I am always so excited to do these when they are 8 months or so away. Then as it gets closer I always question why I do this. But when the race finally gets here I just do it. I love the RedRock Moab... it's probably one of my favorites. I love having a team cheering you on. It's done in one day and the BEST part... you get a medal. Audrey asked if I only run these for the Medal... I said why else would I run it?!?!?!

 Our team this year was Me, Audrey, Kelly, Jason Starks, Darrin and Nanette. Jason was running so fast his legs disappeared in the photo.

 Nanette waiting for her first run. 

 If you look at close at this photo...  thats Audrey running above the sign.

 Here we are at the top of the canyon. Every time I run this race it's freezing at the top and rain or snow.

 My first run done and now it's Jason again.

 Yay... 2 thumbs up. Loving it still at this point. 

 Sister love and support.

 This is the best part of the whole thing. Medals and finish lines!!!

 We had an amazing team! Everyone can't wait for next year. And we must have looked like we had a blast because I have so many people wanting to join the fun.

 This is our van!

Aud and I in bed after a long day!

Dance Pictures!

I am so not a dance mom. I found out about dance pictures 2 days before the day... even though I am sure I was emailed several times and also had a recital packet that had dates and times in it. I never even looked at it. So I had 1 day to try and find black Jazz shoes for Lydia and things went really well. It was all day... I call it a Saturday Sucker!!! But my girls just love it.

16 Years Together!

Brett and I have been married for 16 years today. I can't believe it has been that long. Time goes by so fast. I sit and think about all we have done and been through and how our marriage has changed through out the years. Every year I think our marriage gets stronger and we get closer.  I know hard times can be devastating on some marriages and can sadly end them too. But as I look back at some of the hardest times we have had to deal with especially losing Travis 2 months ago those times have been when I have felt our marriage the strongest. Being there for each other when times are hard and you feel like you can't keep moving. Being there for each other to lean on and pick each other back up.  I love you so much and I am so grateful to have you as my partner through everything... the good and the bad and the super amazing times.

Happy Anniversary Babe!

R.I.P. Travis W. Ballingham

On February 2, 2014 I had to say goodbye to my sweet brother-in-law Travis. Brett's parents called around 9:30 pm with news you never think your going to hear or want to hear. It was Super Bowl Sunday and no one had heard from him... which when it came to sports he was always talking to Brett. I can not express in words what a huge whole in our family we have now without Trav. 

 Travis was a great son, brother, father and friend. He would have done anything to help anyone out. He was always putting everyones feelings before his own. Travis was so funny and had the best smile.   He said to me once, "I never had a sister until you married Brett and now I do".  From then on out he would always call me Sis. It's funny the things you remember and words that touch us the most. Now whenever I hear that word I will forever hear Trav's voice. 

 I will remember all the family vacations we took and all the great times and memories we made. Our vacations will be hard because we know there will be a huge piece missing. 

 Linda (my mother-in-law) called me with the news which meant I had to give the news to everyone else. Telling Brett and my girls was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I wish I could get that day out of my head. When I start to think about it I have to make myself think of other times... like the time Travis and I dared each other to eat as many Hot Sauce packets as we could. Or times like this photo where Trav is tossing Evelyn in the pool. Travis loved playing with the kids in the pool and had just as much fun as they did. 

The Services were amazing! We honored Travis' life and celebrated who he was. It was a really hard day. I still feel numb most of the time... like this isn't happening... he's going to text or call... or when we go to St. George he will be there. I feel like we have a lot of hard days ahead. I also feel like the pain won't ever go away or get easier. I feel that when I think of Travis 5, 10 years from now I will still miss him just as much and it will hurt just as much as it does now.  I think we just learn to get up and keep moving and learn to live with a huge loss. 

Trav- I love you and I know I will see you again some day!

Our Lives the Last 3 Months!

Those these pictures are from now back to November. I could have changed it around but I am way to lazy and have laundry calling my name. It has been a busy 3 months... I am sure like everyone else's with the holidays and stuff.

 Brett and I on Christmas Eve at my folks.

 Lydia got her first Christmas present from a boy this year. She was so excited and we all got to choose only one piece of chocolate from HER box. 

 My kiddos on Christmas Eve in their Christmas Jammies at my parents house. I love my mom's gay pride rainbow tree. Evelyn broke a brace bracket on Christmas Eve and the Ortho dr. had us come in that evening at 7:30. Instead of fixing the bracket he took her braces off. An early Christmas present for Evie.

 Jake turns 5! Just 2 days after Christmas. I feel so bad for people who have Birthdays right after Christmas. People are tired of parties and cake and spending money... even me! Poor Kid!

Evelyn turned 11 right around turkey day. She is getting so big. We just cut and colored her hair for the first time. Her braces are now off and she just looks so much older then 11. We are having some tuff times at school this year with girls being mean. After all the anti-bullying campaigns... this is still going on. It makes me so sad. We preach to our kids love everyone for who they are. Don't judge! But still we have kids who can't love everyone. I have always taught my kids to respect everyone and love unconditionally. Evelyn's teacher this year said that Evelyn is nice to everyone. She gives the same respect to one kid as she would give to her best friend. It makes me wonder how much of the kids who bully and are mean is coming from how they were raised. My heart aches for her... it's just the beginning.